Thanksgiving: The Middle Child of Holidays Nobody Invited to the Cool Kids' Table

+ 5 Nostalgic Thanksgiving Commercials From The 1980s

Am I the only one that’s felt like Thanksgiving has always been the least cool holiday? Let's face it— Thanksgiving is basically the Jan Brady of the holidays. While Halloween and Christmas are out there living their best lives, poor Thanksgiving is stuck in the middle screaming "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!" at decorative gourds. It's like that kid in high school who tried way too hard to be cool but kept showing up to parties wearing their dad's sweater vest.

Remember the 80s and 90s when Thanksgiving at least had some street cred? We'd gather around watching the Macy's parade— not for the parade itself, mind you, but for those sweet glimpses of upcoming Christmas toy commercials (our parents watched the parade). The holiday's biggest claim to fame was being the gateway drug to Christmas shopping. Then came Black Friday, Thanksgiving's desperate attempt at relevancy that basically turned into "The Hunger Games" with shopping carts. For a brief, shining moment, it worked. People were literally trampling each other for $20 off a toaster. But then the internet happened, and Black Friday became a sorry attempt at the Blue Light Special.

By the way, one year, my best friend and I got up super early to stand outside of Fry’s Electronics in San Diego so we could be the first ones to pick up a few graphics cards on the cheap. When we got there, the line went around the entire department store. Nonetheless, we were still able to pick up a few parts we needed to build several custom computers to resell. Those were the days!

These days, Christmas doesn't even have the decency to wait its turn anymore. Halloween candy shares shelf space with candy canes by October 1st, and there's Thanksgiving, awkwardly standing in the middle of the aisle with its paper turkeys and "harvest-scented" candles that smell suspiciously like pumpkin spice trying to convince us it's still special. It's the holiday equivalent of using Comic Sans in your work presentation – trying so hard, yet somehow making it worse.

The saddest part? Thanksgiving's biggest cultural contribution in recent years has been providing Twitter (sorry, "X" – eye roll) with the term "turkey dump" for when college freshmen break up with their high school sweethearts over the long weekend. Even its signature food is controversial – we spend hours cooking a bird that everyone secretly wishes was ham, while pretending that green bean casserole is something we'd eat any other day of the year.

At least Thanksgiving still has one thing going for it: it's the only holiday where it's socially acceptable to fall asleep on your parent's couch at 4 PM while football plays in the background, drooling slightly onto the throw pillow with a half-eaten piece of pumpkin pie balancing precariously on your chest. Try doing that at Christmas dinner and suddenly everyone's "concerned about your lifestyle choices."

Maybe it's time for Thanksgiving to embrace its role as the holiday world's perpetual understudy. Stop trying to compete with Halloween's spooky glamour or Christmas's over-the-top sparkle. Own being the holiday equivalent of wearing comfortable shoes to a fancy restaurant. After all, in these trying times, there's something refreshingly authentic about a holiday whose main activities are eating until you hate yourself and avoiding political discussions with relatives.

Besides, in true Gen X fashion, Thanksgiving's whole "whatever, nevermind" energy might actually be its secret superpower. While Christmas is having a panic attack about supply chain issues and Halloween is worried about its Instagram aesthetic, Thanksgiving is just there, heating up another plate of leftovers and watching "Friends" reruns, living its best mediocre life.

5 Nostalgic Thanksgiving Commercials From The 1980s

These five commercials live rent-free in my mind. Let me know if they take you back!

Butterball Turkey "Marianne's 1st Turkey" TV Commercial (1984 )

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Metlife Peanuts Happy Thanksgiving Commercial Promo (1988)

Pillsbury Crescent Rolls “Grandpa’s Birthday”

Kmart 1980s Thanksgiving Sale Jingle “Newspaper Delivery”

Bugs Bunny’s Thanksgiving Diet Promo and Daffy Duck’s Thanks-For-Giving Special - CBS (1989)

Let me know which one of these took you back. Btw— I’d love to know if you have a favorite Thanksgiving commercial. Let me know!