Lights Out at the Cineplex: A $60 Movie-Night Rant

The entire cinema eco-system needs to do better - here's how much tickets and a box of popcorn should really cost if theaters are going to make a comeback

My son and I about to see Thunderbolts*The New Avengers

When ticket prices burn a hole in your Gen X heart, even a lifelong movie goer starts asking why.

I recently took my son to Thunderbolts* (The New Avengers).

Two tickets: $40

One pretzel & one ICEE: $20

Sixty bucks to see a possibly mediocre movie (I heard it was good though).

$60 ÷ 126 minutes = about 48 cents per minute.

Either way, that’s one very expensive ICEE-fueled event.

Guess what… I was ready to look past that because the first ¾ of the film was pretty good. But then, in typical Marvel fashion, the ending became a fast-paced convoluted mess, concluding with one of my most hated things in modern super-hero films, and that is that everything was undone by a single act of chance by the heroes.

Frustrated me to no end.

And honestly, I’d consider myself a very patient and understanding movie goer. I mean, I’ve read most of the comic books, understand the character backgrounds, and I know most films will disappoint in some minor way. No film is perfect (… well, except for maybe Godfather II and Galaxy Quest), so I go into the film with an open mind and none of that “hate the idea of sequels first” mentality.

Like, look at this poll about the upcoming Superman movie I posted the other day… there’s a lot of “hate the movie first” mentality in the comments…

that_80s_dude

A post shared by @that_80s_dude

BUT, COME ON MARVEL — PLEASE WRITE REAL VILLAINS AND IF THEY COMMIT CRIMES AND ATROCITIES, MAKE THEM STICK… WE JUST WANT TO HATE THE VILLAIN FOR ONCE AND FOR YOU NOT TO MAKE THEM AN ANTI-HERO WITH SPLIT-PERSONALITY, FUNNY IF YOU GET TO KNOW THEM, KINDA VILLIAN!!

That’s just BS.

(This is something DC does way better than Marvel, by the way, but the difference is DC films suck for a great 3/4s of the way in) DC = Good villains. Movie sucks.

This is why we can’t have nice things at the cinema anymore.

But The New Avengers had so much promise. I really mean it.

The villain in The New Avengers is so badass… at first.

I still recommend seeing it, just know the ending, after the “shadow-forming” of everyone and the entire city, is pretty meh and leaves you wondering how they could have built up a villain like this and just as quickly took everything back at the end.

So back to my gripe with the theatre experience today.